In the business world – particularly in the startup world these days – there’s a lot of emphasis on the importance of failure. The mantra is: “fail early and fail often.” Because if you’re not failing, then you’re likely not pushing yourself hard enough and getting out of your comfort zone.
Some people think we’ve gone too far in our celebration of failure, but I think there’s a lot of value in not being afraid of making mistakes. I try and adopt the same mentality when I snowboard. If I’m not physically falling, then I’m likely not trying things I’ve never done before. (I may have taken that philosophy too far this winter.)
Given all of this, I was fascinated to learn about something new this week called Rejection Therapy. I was out for beers with some good friends of mine earlier in the week and one of them – who is
In the business world – particularly in the startup world these days – there’s a lot of emphasis on the importance of failure. The mantra is: “fail early and fail often.” Because if you’re not failing, then you’re likely not pushing yourself hard enough and getting out of your comfort zone.
Some people think we’ve gone too far in our celebration of failure, but I think there’s a lot of value in not being afraid of making mistakes. I try and adopt the same mentality when I snowboard. If I’m not physically falling, then I’m likely not trying things I’ve never done before. (I may have taken that philosophy too far this winter.)
Given all of this, I was fascinated to learn about something new this week called Rejection Therapy. I was out for beers with some good friends of mine earlier in the week and one of them – who is
Jason was a freelance IT guy from Cambridge, Ontario. His wife had recently left him for someone “better” and he went into a deep slump. Eventually, he realized that he had become terrified of rejection. His wife had rejected him and he never wanted that to ever happen again.
Initially he withdrew from life.
But eventually he decided that he was going to experiment with the exact opposite approach. He decided that he was going to force himself to get rejected by someone every, single, day.
It didn’t matter how it happened, but he had to get rejected. He would walk up to strangers and ask for a ride home. He would ask for a discount before buying something. The list goes on.
Eventually he thought it would be a good idea to start documenting all of his rejections: this is what I did today and this how I got rejected. It became a game for him. When he would get his rejection for the day, he would celebrate it. Then he thought to himself: why not turn this into an actual game that other people could purchase? And that’s what he did.
He calls it Rejection Therapy and here are the five objectives that he lays out:
1. To be more aware of how irrational social fears control and restrict our lives 2. Smash the tyranny of fear and reap the treasures (treasures include wealth, relationships and self-confidence) 3. Learn from, and even enjoy rejection 4. To not be attached to outcomes, especially when it involves the free agency of other people 5. Permit yourself to fail
Playing Rejection Therapy may not be for everyone. But I think the lessons are universally applicable. There’s value in trying. There’s value in asking. There’s value in making mistakes. And there’s value in not being afraid of someone saying no.
I recently heard someone define a habit as something that you need to do in order to feel normal. In other words, until you do it, you don’t feel yourself.
This, of course, could refer to both good habits and bad habits. And most of us probably have habits from both camps. But I like it as a clear and simple definition.
I’ve written about disciplines and habits a few times before, because I think of myself as having a few. The most public of my habits is this blog and, at this point, I certainly don’t feel normal if I don’t write everyday. I’ve missed a few days since I started writing in 2013 and each time I felt bad.
My other big habit is going to the gym and lifting weights. And since my snowboarding injury back in February, I haven’t been able to do this properly (though I still tried). It’s easily the longest break I’ve taken from it since I started this particular habit when I was 16.
Because of this, I really haven’t felt myself for about 2 months. My energy levels aren’t the same and I just don’t feel as mentally sharp. Those are some of the main reasons why I love this habit. And I still haven’t adjusted.
Thankfully (with some help from Totum Life Science), my back and shoulder are finally starting to feel better. And so today, instead of writing about cities, I’m going to go to the gym and try and do one of my regular workout routines.
I’m not quite at 100% yet, but I should be soon. And then I’ll finally feel normal again.
Jason was a freelance IT guy from Cambridge, Ontario. His wife had recently left him for someone “better” and he went into a deep slump. Eventually, he realized that he had become terrified of rejection. His wife had rejected him and he never wanted that to ever happen again.
Initially he withdrew from life.
But eventually he decided that he was going to experiment with the exact opposite approach. He decided that he was going to force himself to get rejected by someone every, single, day.
It didn’t matter how it happened, but he had to get rejected. He would walk up to strangers and ask for a ride home. He would ask for a discount before buying something. The list goes on.
Eventually he thought it would be a good idea to start documenting all of his rejections: this is what I did today and this how I got rejected. It became a game for him. When he would get his rejection for the day, he would celebrate it. Then he thought to himself: why not turn this into an actual game that other people could purchase? And that’s what he did.
He calls it Rejection Therapy and here are the five objectives that he lays out:
1. To be more aware of how irrational social fears control and restrict our lives 2. Smash the tyranny of fear and reap the treasures (treasures include wealth, relationships and self-confidence) 3. Learn from, and even enjoy rejection 4. To not be attached to outcomes, especially when it involves the free agency of other people 5. Permit yourself to fail
Playing Rejection Therapy may not be for everyone. But I think the lessons are universally applicable. There’s value in trying. There’s value in asking. There’s value in making mistakes. And there’s value in not being afraid of someone saying no.
I recently heard someone define a habit as something that you need to do in order to feel normal. In other words, until you do it, you don’t feel yourself.
This, of course, could refer to both good habits and bad habits. And most of us probably have habits from both camps. But I like it as a clear and simple definition.
I’ve written about disciplines and habits a few times before, because I think of myself as having a few. The most public of my habits is this blog and, at this point, I certainly don’t feel normal if I don’t write everyday. I’ve missed a few days since I started writing in 2013 and each time I felt bad.
My other big habit is going to the gym and lifting weights. And since my snowboarding injury back in February, I haven’t been able to do this properly (though I still tried). It’s easily the longest break I’ve taken from it since I started this particular habit when I was 16.
Because of this, I really haven’t felt myself for about 2 months. My energy levels aren’t the same and I just don’t feel as mentally sharp. Those are some of the main reasons why I love this habit. And I still haven’t adjusted.
Thankfully (with some help from Totum Life Science), my back and shoulder are finally starting to feel better. And so today, instead of writing about cities, I’m going to go to the gym and try and do one of my regular workout routines.
I’m not quite at 100% yet, but I should be soon. And then I’ll finally feel normal again.
I’m off this evening to Banff (and then Revelstoke) for a 10 day snowboarding trip. If you’ve been
reading Architect This City since this time last year
, you’ll know that this is an annual tradition that I started with a group of close friends from grad school. It’s our annual retreat to the mountains and it’s our 6th year doing. I hope we never stop.
So what happens to ATC?
Regular scheduled programming will continue as usual. But don’t be surprised if I change things up and make the content a bit more personal on some of the days. I’ve also decided to try out something new and video blog throughout the trip using Snapchat Stories. If you’d like to follow along, my username is donnelly_b. There will also be a more traditional video to follow.
Finally, if you happen to know Banff and/or Revelstoke well, or happen to be from out west, I’d love to hear from you. It’s always great to get local insights.
reading Architect This City since this time last year
, you’ll know that this is an annual tradition that I started with a group of close friends from grad school. It’s our annual retreat to the mountains and it’s our 6th year doing. I hope we never stop.
So what happens to ATC?
Regular scheduled programming will continue as usual. But don’t be surprised if I change things up and make the content a bit more personal on some of the days. I’ve also decided to try out something new and video blog throughout the trip using Snapchat Stories. If you’d like to follow along, my username is donnelly_b. There will also be a more traditional video to follow.
Finally, if you happen to know Banff and/or Revelstoke well, or happen to be from out west, I’d love to hear from you. It’s always great to get local insights.
