Toronto has a way of irreverently disregarding spring. Oftentimes we go from winter right into summer. And this past weekend was one of those magical times when summer just appeared and Torontonians far and wide decided to showcase their pasty bodies after a long and dark winter.

But now that the warm weather is upon us, it's important to keep in mind a few very important things. Don't ride an electric scooter. They're too dangerous. You might hit a car.

Make sure you use the washroom before leaving home. Most public washrooms aren't open yet because peeing season obviously hasn't started yet. I think it starts sometime in late May. Or maybe it's early June.

Purchase all of your alcohol beverages from the liquor control board. That's the safest way to do it. And whatever you do, don't consume said alcohol beverages in any of the city's public spaces. That is strictly forbidden.

If you have a backyard, that is an acceptable place to drink responsibly, or irresponsibly. But if you don't have a backyard, you're out of luck. I would encourage you to simply crack a window and linger next to it. But of course, be mindful not to get too close to it.

I don't know why we're so uptight about shit.

Back before the 2008 financial crisis, I did a short stint working for a real estate developer in Dublin, Ireland. 

Most of our projects were in Ireland, but our consultant teams were sometimes from all over.

One day we were having a meeting with our architect from Germany and we started talking about a particular project’s green space.

But this wasn’t the sort of green space that was supposed to be actively used. It was a green space that, I guess, you were just supposed to look at and admire for its greenness. 

So one of my Irish colleagues asked, while referencing the proposed design: “How are we going to keep people off the grass?”

Our German friends didn’t immediately appreciate the concern and responded with: “What do you mean?”

Irish: “How will we stop people from walking and hanging out on the grass?”

German with serious face: “Oh. We will put up a sign.”

At that point, every Irish person in the room just started laughing and more or less said: “Yeah, that’ll never work.”

Cultural differences can be subtle.