Like many of you, I have been watching The Last Dance. It is a powerful reminder of just how competitive, disciplined, and emotional Michael Jordan was, and still is, about winning at the game of basketball. But the most powerful moment so far has easily been his monologue on leadership at the end of episode 7. Here is that scene. If you can't see it below, click here.

Watching this brought tears to my eyes. Over the years, I have had teachers, professors, and bosses who have subscribed to this philosophy of leadership. I'm sure many of you have as well. It's never fun at the time. In fact, it sucks. But usually in hindsight it becomes clearer what that person was trying to accomplish. And you realize how they pushed you to grow.

My own view is that there are ways to win without resorting to emotional bullying. But then it begs the question, if you're not being extreme, does that reduce performance? Would it have been better for Jordan to be a bit nicer to his teammates, if it meant winning fewer championships? Depends on who you ask.

When you're determined to move a mountain, win a championship, or create something that has never been done before, it can be incredibly frustrating when you feel as if the team isn't on the same level or that they don't care as much as you. So you push. And that's what Michael did. Winning has a price.

We all need to be challenged. Some people, like Michael, are good at pushing themselves to be the best that they can be. Others need more external help. How best to do that is the great debate. But as Fred Wilson said on his blog earlier this week: "Leadership is not being liked. Leadership is being respected and followed."

Kawhi Leonard doesn't say very much, but when he does, he tends to focus the discussion less on himself and more on the achievements of the Toronto Raptors as a whole. He has said many times before in interviews that he doesn't aspire to be the best player on the team; he aspires to win championships. It's not about him. It's about the team. And it's hard not to respect that kind of humility.

One the things that I try to be aware of in business and in life is how I use first-person singular pronouns (such as "I") and first-person plural pronouns (such as "we"). The subtleties of language are important and there's lots of research out there on this topic. Some have even tracked Jeff Bezos' use of "I" and "we" in Amazon's annual shareholder letters over time.

Harvard Business Review also argued a few years ago that "we" is the language of leadership because it tells you where someone is focusing their attention. Studies suggest that when people are self-aware or insecure they naturally tend to use more first-person singular pronouns -- they turn inward. Conversely, using pronouns such as "we", "us", or "you" suggest an outward focus or a focus on other people's thoughts, opinions, and contributions.

Of course, when you write a personal blog like this one, you naturally end up with a lot of "I." But when I write about broader topics, such as city building or the housing market, I do try and shift the focus. These are our cities. These are our buildings, streets, and public spaces. We're in this together. And I aspire to get even better at "we."

Oh, and go Raptors!

Venture capitalist Mark Suster has a great post on his blog called: Lead, Follow or Get the Fuck Out of the Way. It’s a relevant read no matter what kind of organization you happen to be a part of. I think the lessons are universally applicable.

Here are two paragraphs on leadership that I really liked:

The problem with hard decisions is that you can never make everybody happy. There is always somebody impacted or somebody who thought “plan B” was better. Leadership is about listening to multiple opinions but in the end trusting your instincts and deciding. Leadership is about not worrying about how people will think about you for hard calls. It is about being willing to be wrong.

Leaders have well-formed opinions that go against the grain, the temerity to sell their vision to skeptics, the tenacity to stick to their ideas when they are inevitably criticized, the resiliency to wake every day when they’re being kicked by everybody for their beliefs but also the willingness to look at data and re-chart their course when they got it wrong.

In business school they teach you to privilege decisiveness over inaction. They teach you that no decision is actually a decision and that you shouldn’t wait around for the perfect solution. It’s rare to have all of the information. So make a decision and go. Sometimes, of course, this can cause problems. Mistakes will happen. But I generally subscribe to this approach. 

One of the ways I am trying to develop these skills – which may not be obvious to some of you – is by writing on this blog every day. I’m not always happy with result. Sometimes it really pains me to hit “Post now” when I’ve run out of time and I have to get to the office. But in the grand scheme of things, that’s okay. It’s more about the discipline of putting myself out there every single day.

Hopefully this approach creates as much value for you as it does for me.